Nightmares
by EmeraldCelebi
Summary: Iku receives unexpected reruns of some past nightmares, but this time someone is there to help her through it.


Iku sat up quickly in bed, a habit leftover from when she used to have recurring nightmares so she wouldn't scream as she woke from unconsciousness, letting out a choked "Instructor…!". She gasped, exhaling a shaky breath as she processed the present-day situation—she didn't call him "instructor" anymore. Her breathing was still ragged from fear and misery as she tried to calm down, feeling a few tears on her cheeks and lifting her trembling hands to wipe them away. Next to her, Atsushi finally turned over, waking up slowly and realizing what was happening. Hearing her sniffle, his eyes opened fully in alarm and he pulled himself up on one elbow, peering into Iku's face to assess the situation. Iku looked away, suddenly feeling embarrassed, as he concluded that there was no physical damage to Iku's person and sat up the rest of the way with a sigh. He watched her regain her composure for a moment in silence.

"…I had a nightmare," Iku muttered sheepishly, trying to hold back more tears at the thought of the pain. It had been a mixture of other nightmares she used to have; of Dojo hating her, of Dojo getting shot, of Dojo potentially on the brink of death. Since they had been past all these obstacles, Iku hadn't had any bad dreams to that effect until now, and it dredged up old pains she thought she had left behind. It made her feel inadequate, to think that she hadn't gotten over it after all that time.

"I gathered," Atsushi replied softly, hiding the small annoyance at having been woken up behind concern, feeling slightly ashamed. He hadn't missed her gasp "instructor" and couldn't imagine she was referring to anyone else—nobody else made her cry as often as he did, he thought begrudgingly. "Can't escape me making you cry even in your sleep, huh….." he said under his breath in momentary self-loathing, accidentally speaking his thoughts. Iku flushed, suddenly unsure of how much she had said out loud.

"Er—well, that is—" Iku stammered, not meeting his gaze as she desperately tried to decipher what had been unconscious and what she'd said out loud. Atsushi reached an arm around her shoulders and hugged her to him, cutting her off where she had expected him to tease her about it. His surprisingly tender reaction brought Iku back to tears, and she pressed her forehead against his collarbone and gripped the back of his shirt with both hands, letting out a small sob. He moved a hand up to rub her hair, completely forgetting his just-woken-up annoyance in favor of concern and affection for the sweet (emotional) girl in front of him. Iku buried her face in his shoulder to smother another sob.

"…You're kind of a crybaby," he muttered into her hair after a moment, at last resorting to teasing to lighten the mood. They both rocked a little with the weight of Iku's fist thudding against his chest, admonishing him with a muffled and slightly wavering "Jerk!..." Nonetheless, she huddled closer to him as he smiled into her hair. Her sobbing was beginning to subside, Atsushi noted with relief. "Would you like to talk about it?" he prompted gently, turning characteristically serious again. Iku lifted her face from his shoulder to rest her chin on it, pressing her cheek against his neck and contemplating his offer.

"When… When I first got that letter from Tedzuka Satoshi," she began, hoping he wouldn't pull away to look at her, "I started having really bad dreams… that you hated me. For the whole prince thing." She felt Dojo cringe at the word "prince", but he didn't pull away. He silently began to run his fingers through her short hair while Iku gathered her thoughts, clenching and unclenching her fists in the back of his shirt. "I couldn't stand to think that I could have been so stupid as to make you hate me. Even after I realized you didn't hate me, it scared me to death to think about admitting my feelings to you and getting rejected…" she trailed off, her face heating up at the concession of these words. Iku started to feel awkward, thinking Atsushi felt awkward too as sentimentality sounded dumb on her. She shook her head, pressing her mouth into his shoulder to stop any further words.

Atsushi felt a pang in his heart at her open honesty, thinking she was too overcome with emotion to go on rather than just shy. Thinking back to how tired she had looked coming into the task force room, having spent sleepless nights in heartbroken agony to be greeted by the oblivious 'you look like hell' made him feel guilty for not being more accommodating once he'd noticed her change in behavior. He tightened his hold on her for a moment before relaxing again, knowing he wouldn't be able to express his apology appropriately without discrediting the things he did that he _wasn't_ sorry for—the things that had made her into a fine and reliable soldier. Iku was thrown off-balance by his silent gesture, not sure how to respond and unwilling to finish explaining her nightmare. She pulled away slightly and adjusted her position so she could tuck her head under his chin and pull them both sideways so they were lying down again. "Let's just go back to sleep," she sighed, determining to describe the rest of her dream some other time.


End file.
